I too am excited about this project thing we are working on! I love that we are putting our learning into action and may make positive changes around us! GO Team Creepers!
I went to church today for the first time in almost a year. I have been eating more vegetables and walking more. I try really really hard not to sleep in class and to ask questions when I am lost. I was thinking last week after our planning session in class that I wonder how many of us are making changes in our lives so that we can be the change we want to see in the world. Our choices do matter. Sometimes I know the business of everyday life swallows me up and I don't think about the choices I make. Some choices don't seem like that big of a deal like eating one cookie or three, two pieces of pizza or 4 but when you don't think about it those choices they really can add up! When I begin to think about it I realize how lazy I am! Good students study and do their assignments on time- I don't but I wanna be a good student! When we start to think about the min to min choices we make I know I could be a whole lot more productive with my time! That's why I decided to make time to blog tonight instead of harvesting my crops on farmville or watching you tube videos! I hope that you guys are all making better, more thoughtful decisions! I look forward to working with ya'll on our project! Woot! woot!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
One confused Jive Turkey...
There seems to be a great divide within me these days. There is a "the way I use to be" and the "I don't know anymore". I'm not sure how to reconcile the two. I use to be in the candidacy process, I use to be a children's minister, a religion major, headed to seminary. I use to be in love with a God I thought was so real, alive, and ever present. Something happened.
The bible became a fable, the mysteries of faith- a lie. I no longer felt God's presence and could say with no fear that God was not real. I scoffed at Christians and began to hate the very kind of people that I use to be.
I have been asking myself lately... Am I mad at God? Do I still believe in God. Am I angry at some church experiences or hurting over old situations. Why do I feel so negativly towards Christianity? To be honest I have been caught up in blaming the extremes on why the church is the way it is today. I haven't stopped to look at myself. For all the good churches do I seem to want to look past it and just pick on the bad parts.
We all long for a connection. We want love and community. Are religions just a way to fill that need for connection or is there more to religion than that? Religion can help us figure out the kind of people we want to be. I want my religion to be more than a moral code. I want this God thing to be real, to be touchable, maybe even to be infallible. I guess maybe I'm thinking of God and faith as something conceptual. Maybe I should think of them as verbs- like the faithing.
What if God is found in our doing. Maybe we are God to each other. Maybe through all my internal confusion I will have better understanding one day..... until then I'll remain one confused jive turkey.
The bible became a fable, the mysteries of faith- a lie. I no longer felt God's presence and could say with no fear that God was not real. I scoffed at Christians and began to hate the very kind of people that I use to be.
I have been asking myself lately... Am I mad at God? Do I still believe in God. Am I angry at some church experiences or hurting over old situations. Why do I feel so negativly towards Christianity? To be honest I have been caught up in blaming the extremes on why the church is the way it is today. I haven't stopped to look at myself. For all the good churches do I seem to want to look past it and just pick on the bad parts.
We all long for a connection. We want love and community. Are religions just a way to fill that need for connection or is there more to religion than that? Religion can help us figure out the kind of people we want to be. I want my religion to be more than a moral code. I want this God thing to be real, to be touchable, maybe even to be infallible. I guess maybe I'm thinking of God and faith as something conceptual. Maybe I should think of them as verbs- like the faithing.
What if God is found in our doing. Maybe we are God to each other. Maybe through all my internal confusion I will have better understanding one day..... until then I'll remain one confused jive turkey.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Tension in Mah brain
1st let me defend myself. I do actually LOVE children. I have 3 nephews and 4 nieces. I have been a children's minister. I've babysat since I was 14. My grandma raised a lot of my cousins and I was there to help. Children are wonderful, they are the best-- but when you are around them for extended periods of time they can be overwhelming-- and you have to admit, no matter what age they do get smelly quick!! :P
There is tension in my being. "Be the change you want to see in the world." I love this idea, its all well and good but.... the rational, logical, action plan forming part of me says its a load of poop. I think it can work on an everyday level- for example you care about the environment- so you recycle. Be the change. When you are disciplining children you talk gently with clarity because you want them to respond to you by not yelling or screaming. You change their behavior by embodying the change you want to see in them. You don't agree with the current education system's method for learning- you encourage your students to blog, text in class, and really actually make them excited about learning. These things work great with the idea of being the change. When we revolutionize ourselves we can make positive changes around us.
But how does this tackle institutional greed, war, genocide, poverty, politics? There are so many things bigger than what we can tackle with simply being the change.
There is tension in my being. "Be the change you want to see in the world." I love this idea, its all well and good but.... the rational, logical, action plan forming part of me says its a load of poop. I think it can work on an everyday level- for example you care about the environment- so you recycle. Be the change. When you are disciplining children you talk gently with clarity because you want them to respond to you by not yelling or screaming. You change their behavior by embodying the change you want to see in them. You don't agree with the current education system's method for learning- you encourage your students to blog, text in class, and really actually make them excited about learning. These things work great with the idea of being the change. When we revolutionize ourselves we can make positive changes around us.
But how does this tackle institutional greed, war, genocide, poverty, politics? There are so many things bigger than what we can tackle with simply being the change.
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